Heaven's Refrigerator Door

If you are a parent or grandparent, then your refrigerator door probably looks like mine - full of all sorts of wonderful drawings, paintings & art done by your kids.  I clean my refrigerator (not as often as I should) but nobody touches my kids stuff posted on the door.  When I look at my child's creations it moves me and brings me joy.  I'm sure every parent feels the same.

This past Sunday we celebrated the Feast of Pentecost at our church.  It was quite a moving service.  The church was filled with beautiful flowers and the icons seemed especially bright.  Maybe it was because I missed last Sunday, but the Liturgy seemed like a wonderful conversation with the Trinity. The thrice prostration, the prayers said by Father over us was too much to bear and I was moved to tears by the beauty and majesty of God on this special day.  I loved being in God's house last Sunday.  I loved worshiping Him with my brothers and sisters.

Although I enjoy worshipping God, sometimes I wonder if God enjoys my worship.  After all, what could I offer Him that he doesn't already have?  How could my worship be pleasing to One surrounded by angels, saints and throngs of unceasing worshipers?  How could me a sinner, offer anything pleasing to God?  

That's when I thought about the refrigerator door. When you and I as God's children take the time and effort in this polluted world stained by sin to whisper a prayer to the Savior.  When a man overwhelmed by life's stress and anxiety bows before the Lord.  When a child lights a candle in wonder and adoration.  Whenever any of God's creation worships him, it's like a Picasso to Him - beautiful, wonderful, amazing.  A masterpiece of creativity that he proudly hangs on the doors of heaven's refrigerator and says, "look what my kids have made for me.  Isn't it beautiful."

It helps me to think of my worship in this way.  First, it shows the worth of my efforts to God and that no deed goes unnoticed.  Secondly, it helps keep me humble.  I'm just a little kid drawing pictures for my Daddy.  How gracious of Him to receive something from my hands.  The church needs to hear this.  No matter how big the church.  No matter how beautiful the worship space.  No matter how cool or hip the worship team (for my Protestant friends:)) , we're all just little kids drawing pictures out of love for our Father.  How gracious that He loves our art because He's in love with the artist!

Seeing Old Things New

There's an expression in the South that says, "If it were a snake it would have bit me".  The idiom means that sometimes things are right before our very eyes and maybe have been for years but we just couldn't see them.  I feel that way with the Scriptures sometimes.  I have been a serious student of Holy Scripture for decades, however, there a few things in the Bible that I seem to be seeing more clearly since traveling toward Orthodoxy.  I'll share just a few.

Fasting
There are countless times in both Testaments when God called his people to fast for specific purposes.  We also have commands in the New Testament & a solid biblical example of the whole church engaging as one in the practice of fasting (Mt 4:2, Mt 6:16, Acts 13:2).  Ironically, despite these and other numerous examples I was never encouraged to fast as a part of my Protestant past.  In fact, I attended a church called a "bible church"and never once was I encouraged to fast.  I attended a seminary that proclaimed the Scriptures as true yet I was never encouraged to practice these Scriptures.  I read those verses for years but never "saw" the need for fasting in relation to our spiritual growth.  If it were a snake it would have bit me.

Caring For The Poor
Jesus rubbed elbows with folks from the other side of the tracks and he expects us to as well.  In fact this is so important that my attitude & actions toward the poor really show whether my heart is with Christ or with the world.  I will be judged one day on how I treated the poor, oppressed and less fortunate Christ sent to me (Mt 25) and this judgement will play a role on where I spend eternity.  Again, if it was a snake it would have bit me.

Leading A Lifestyle Of Moderation
My grandfather used to tell me stories of his growing up.  Stories of how he picked cotton until his fingers bled.  Tales of fishing on the Atchafalaya river for food.  Stories about getting an apple or fruit for a Christmas present.  This was always the part that disturbed me when I was a kid.  Fruit for Christmas?  That's it?  Boy, I'm glad I wasn't born back in that day.

It seems that as our nation has prospered it has brought with it a sense of entitlement of things.  It seems God's people aren't immune to this either.  The bigger the church the better.  We need more technology, plasma TV's, bigger houses, nicer cars.  The American Dream has become the Church's dream.  In fact if you look at the lifestyles of many churchgoers and compared it to conservative well to do atheists you would see little difference except for attending church one day a week.

Jesus called us to forsake the world and not be of the world.  John even went so far to say that love for the things of the world and the things of God is the ultimate oxymoron.  However, I hear a different message today.  You can have it all!  In fact God wants you to have it all.  It's ok to have both.  It's a sign of God's blessing after all.  You worked hard.  You deserve it.  Just believe the right things and it doesn't matter what you do or how you live.  This of course, is totally antithetical to Scripture and once again if it was a snake it would've bit me.

I write these things not in a spirit of condemnation but of personal conviction and repentance.  I confess that for far too long I've looked at the Scriptures and seen only what I wanted to see or what my culture conditioned me to see.  I confess that I have willfully ignored some of the hard sayings of Christ instead resting upon mantras like "faith alone in Christ alone".  I confess that I've treated God's holy Word like a buffet - picking what was expedient for me to obey and discarding the rest.  I confess, that I am the chief of sinners.  Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God have mercy on me a sinner.

Telling A New Story

Wow, I didn't think I would have so many responses to an idea I had while drinking a glass of wine over dinner!  Thanks for your calls, texts & emails.  Many people may wonder, "how did you get on this path?"  I'm not really sure even I know but I'll do my best to explain.  As I write this I'm weeping tears of sadness & joy.

The Pain
It has been said that God speaks most clearly our pain.  I've found this to be the case for myself.  After my church plant closed I along with my wife went through much personal pain.  One wise man told me it took him 10 years to recover from a similar experience.  I didn't believe him at the time but now I do.  I couldn't go to church for a long time after that because sadness would overwhelm me.  Thoughts of failing God mingled with jealousy of others success held me back and I entered an emotional cavelike existence.  I assumed I was such a toxic person that it was best I not be around people.  Top that with other issues we were having with our son and I almost couldn't bear it.

Well eventually I did start praying, studying the Bible and going to church again.  I was trying to move toward God but couldn't sense any reciprocation.  This only reinforced the negative thoughts I had about myself.  I felt like I had hit rock bottom.  I had always been an avid reader of theology so I started reading again.  I thought maybe there's something I've missed so I read & studied early church history.  As I did this I felt like God was drawing me to a different place.  A place where I'd never been before in all my years of following him.  He was drawing me to His church.

Take Your Shoes Off
I'll never forget the first Sunday I walked into an Orthodox church.  I was there for Matins and I was the only one there.  I felt strange yet warmly welcomed at the same time.  I heard that you're not supposed to sit in an Orthodox church so I dare not do that.  The priest introduced himself and the service began.

I've been in lots of church services- Big, little, crazy, people falling down, seeing visions, dancing.  I've heard some of the best preachers evangelicalism has to offer during my seminary years.  However, what I experienced in the midst of the quiet chanting of the Psalter and incense rising through the little church was nothing less than miraculous.  I sensed the very presence of God -  so holy and pure yet so loving and compassionate.  I heard this loud inner voice saying, "take your shoes off you are on holy ground."  Well, I didn't but I got the message loud and clear.

Look Up
I went back home & told my wife.  I could see it in her eyes- here we go again.  Seminary, job change, moving, church planting, church shopping, now this.  She came the next Sunday and the next and our journey continues together.

Fast forward several months.  I'm in the liturgy with my head bowed quietly wondering how in the world I wound up in this place.  Suddenly I hear another voice as loud and as clear as the first one.  The voice said , "Look up!".  What do you mean look up?   "Look up!", it said.  For the first time I "saw" the icons.  I had looked at them many Sundays & admired their beauty but this Sunday was different.  I "saw" them for what they are for the first time - windows to heaven.

The great cloud of witnesses seemed to embrace me and say to me, "We know your pain.  We've been there too.  You want to know why you're here.  Look up at us.  We've been praying for you to come here."  I thought man I've totally lost it now!  I thought to myself I don't even know if I believe in you.  The icons seemed to smile and say, "We know but we believe in you and that's why you're here."

And the story continues...

Traveling New Paths

I am traveling new spiritual paths and seeking fellow travelers.  Let me share with you where I've been.
I'm a graduate of Dallas Theological Seminary and have been a pastor and church planter for 10 years.  My paths have taken me from fundamentalist churches to the charismatic movement.  Recently,  I've been traveling down a most unusual  yet beautiful path - Eastern Orthodoxy.  Yep.  From the Buckle of the Bible Belt to Constantinople.  Long trip:)  Indeed it has been.  Yet it has been totally life transforming for me and my family.  The purpose of this blog is to share my spiritual journey with all of it's ups and downs with fellow sojourners.

I call this first posting "Traveling New Paths".  Traveling - because I have not "arrived".  New -because although the paths are new to me they are as old as Christianity itself.  Paths - because I believe the path and journey is just as important as the destination.

I'll be posting things to interact with from spiritual thoughts, insights as well as reflections on nature.  Feel free to travel with me!

All Aboard,

Chris Mayeaux